Yesterday’s Celebration of Life for my father-in-law, Bob Boxberger was special indeed. A Goliath of a man, Robert Boxberger, otherwise known as Bob or “Boxie”,  passed away on January 10, 2021. The event had been postponed a few times due to the seemingly never ending surges of this pandemic.  I am so pleased the event finally took place! The vast array of Bob’s life achievements, his career, his various experiences and adventures, his values, how he lived his life, his fatherhood, and the roles he played in the lives of others will make for one of the longest sentences in the history of my blog writing.

News reporter, photographer, world traveler, Mountaineer, sports car racer, U.S. Army Air Corps Veteran (WWII and Korean War), father-extraordinaire of six children, non-conformist, witty outside-the box-thinker, the man behind the camera, lover of nature, birder, avid reader, summit-er of Mt. Rainier, sailor, white river rafter, fisherman, music lover, cook, owner of a library of over 3000 books (most of which he read), Hemingway-like figure, up-close and unflinching document-er of this crazy world, backpacker, hiker, environmentalist, builder of houses, author, progressive thinker, San-Diego-California-born screen writer who tried his hand at writing and producing for the Hollywood screen and succeeded, Bob saw and lived life as one grand adventure!

Bob always told his partner Anne that the greatest achievement of his life was his six children. He was so proud of his family. He referred to his six children as “Good People.” Yes, 100% Good People.

I was talking to my friend and yoga student Marcia today and we talked about how important it is to attend memorials and funerals of family members and friends. At these events, we have an opportunity to support the grieving family who experienced loss.  We are also reminded of the legacy one leaves behind and we are given pause to think about the legacy we, too, will leave behind one day.

Bob’s partner Anne found the following list, Bob’s Instructions for Life, among Bob’s collections of letters and cards.

Instructions for Life
  1. Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.
  2. Memorize your favorite poem
  3. Don’t believe all you hear, spend all you have, or loaf all you want.
4.When you say, “I love you,” mean it.
5. When you say, “I’m sorry,” look the person in the eye.
6. Be engaged at least six months before you get married.
7. Believe in love at first sight.
8. Never laugh at anyone’s dreams. People who don’t have dreams don’t have much.
9. Love deeply and passionately.You may get hurt, but it’s the only way to live. life completely.
10. In disagreements, fight fairly.No name calling.
11. Don’t judge people by their relatives, or by the life they were born into.
12. Teach yourself to speak slowly but think quickly.
13. When someone asks you a question you don’t want to answer, smile and ask, “Why do you want to know?”
14. Take into account that great love and great achievements involve great risk.
15. Call your mother.
16. Say “bless you” when you hear someone sneeze.
17. When you lose, don’t lose the lesson.
18. Follow the three R’s: Respect for self, Respect for others, Responsibility for all your actions.
19. Don’t let a little dispute injure a great friendship.
20. When you realize you’ve made a mistake, take immediate action to correct it.
21. Smile when picking up the phone. The caller will hear it in your voice.
22. Marry a person you love to talk to. As you get older, his/her conversational skills will be even more important.
23. Spend some time alone.
24. Open your arms to change, but don’t let go of your values.
25. Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.
26. Read more books. Television is no substitute.
27. Live a good, honorable life.Then when you get older and think back, you’ll be able to enjoy it a second time.
28. Trust in God but lock your car.
29. A loving atmosphere in your home is the foundation for your life.So do all you can to create a tranquil, harmonious home.
30. In disagreements with loved ones, deal only with the current situation. Don’t bring up the past.
31. Don’t just listen to what someone is saying.Listen to why they are saying it.
32. Share your knowledge. It’s a way to achieve immortality.
33. Be gentle with the search.
34. Pray or meditate. There is immeasurable power in them.
35. Never interrupt when you are being flattered.
36. Mind your own business.
37. Don’t trust anyone who doesn’t close his/her eyes when they kiss.
38. Once a year, go someplace you’ve never been before.
39. If you make a lot of money, put it to use helping others while you are living. It is wealth’s greatest satisfaction.
40.Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck.
41. Learn the rules so you know how to break them properly.
42. Remember that the best relationship is one in which your love for each other exceeds your need for each other.
43. Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it.
44. Live in the knowledge that your character is your destiny.
45. Approach love and cooking with reckless abandon.
And I really love Bob’s Writing Goals. I have written out his notes below the photo.
Above: Bob’s personal notes
Writing Goals:
Celebrate the struggle for self-fulfillment.
Examine / often unconscious effort to rise above mediocrity
Reveal / growth incurred by experiencing danger.
Display compassionately  / conflict between inner desires + outward reality- /difference between a person’s dreams and life’s realities.
Maintain / worth / personal honor, integrity.

 OBITUARY

View Bob’s car and motorbike racing photography /coverage from the 1950s on INSTAGRAM @boxbergermotorsportimages (Boxberger Motor Sport Images)
May Bob rest in peace and teach us how to live with more mindfulness.
Dragonfly photo taken by Bob Boxberger.