Yesterday hit me like a ton of bricks. I knew I’d be thinking of my sister Jeanie as I had been all week long, but in the morning, I could hardly manage to get myself out of bed. Yesterday marked three years since Jeanie breathed her last breath. I slept in (on a beautiful sunny day) and then, when I did get up, I got out my photos of Jeanie and looked at them, studying the details of each photo as if looking for cryptic hints for answers as to why she got sick, why she suffered for so long, and why she had to die prematurely. I cancelled a morning gathering with friends. I felt a great big fat emptiness.
The emptiness felt inconsolable until I got a few reaching-out texts from Jeanie’s family. Her son Vince sent a sweet photo of his two daughters and texted, “She’s the reason for this.” His adorable girls’ smiles fill out the tiny frame of my phone. Later, John’s wife Jenna sent a photo of their almost 5 week-old little girl in momma-Jenna’s arms. June Rae’s chubby milk-cheeks and infant smile fill the screen as she is happily snuggled to her momma’s heart. These texts put everything into perspective and reminded me that Jeanie’s life continues in her sons’ lives and in her grandchildren.
Yesterday evening, I went to Don and Simone’s for dinner. We ate outside, surrounded by POPPIES. I felt Jeanie’s spirit being expressed to me in the poppies. There is nothing so delicate as the paper-like petals of a poppy. Once the poppy has done its one-of-a-kind showing off, a seed pod develops, filled with thousands of seeds to insure that next year Simone’s garden will be filled with volunteer poppies.
i’m just now reading this, on the day of our mamma’s birthday, all day i kept seeing them together….Jeanie does live on through her beautiful three grandchildren and her sons. Thank you for this heartfelt tribute of our beloved sister. Love you.
Thanks, Zina! Love you, too. Fran
Fran,
Such a tough time, but I think Jeanie would be so proud of her family, esp her 2 boys. Beautifully written story and loved the pictures of the poppies.
Love, Linda
Thank you, Linda!
Love and spaciousness to you both. We love you!
To the two of you grieving Jeanie and Rick’s mom, I send my condolences as you experience loss fresh and still painful, maybe raw, yet with a new understanding.
Thank you, Jerry! Love, Fran
Ten days ago I lost my wonderful sister to cancer. The heartache and pain I feel cannot yet be touched by kind words and memories. She was always such an inspiration to me. Time is supposed to bring healing but it also means that many more days she has been gone from my life.
Dear Renae, The path of loss is a hard one to tread…perhaps one of the greatest challenges in life is to say goodbye to a wonderful loving sister. I am so glad you wrote your comment. I am so sorry for you loss. Thank you for sharing. Sending you light and love, Fran
I too laid low, low, low yesterday, tried to shake it off by visiting the stone Dad and I erected where I sprinkled some of mom’s ashes.
feeling the urge
to gather them all up again—
my mother’s ashes
(My mother died the same day Jeanne died.)
Rick