Toni’s Legacy

Though I continue to teach and carry on with my life, in my quiet hours, I am still reeling with the sadness of loss of Toni.  It seems to me that she should still be alive, making huge progress with her physical rehabilitation.  Her death, to me, seems senseless. She was doing so well. Though many cards were stacked against her, we were all filled with such optimism for recovery.  The medical staff in Chicago were shocked to hear of her death.

In my head, I am working up the letter I will write to St. Mary’s Hospital in Indiana. I have been waiting for this internal hurt to subside before I write. It is not a letter to sue them, but  a letter of awareness, a plea to never let what happened to Toni happen to another person.

I feel that the attending doctor (lung specialist) wrote her off. He never responded to my calls. I am not certain if he ever stopped by her room to see her during the ten days she struggled to recover from the pneumonia. What I do know is that, as Toni struggled for TEN days to fight the pneumonia in her COVID-19 damaged lungs at the Indiana hospital, the attending pulmonologist ignored my calls.  He simply did not answer me. Every day, we reached out to him. We wanted to know if culture tests had been done. We wanted to know why they were starting her on yet another antibiotic in addition to the broad-spectrum antibiotic she was on. Wouldn’t a culture test reveal exactly which antibiotic was needed to treat Toni? Since he did not reply to me, I had Nora call. Nurses left him messages and written notes on our behalf. Never a reply from him. Nada!

He happened to stop in Toni’s room on the day Toni was dying. I was on FaceTime with Nora when he entered the room, so I asked her to hand the phone over to him. I asked him to please step out of Toni’s room (because even though she was dying, she was quite aware of what was being said around her). Once he was out of Toni’s earshot, I spoke my mind and had some words with him, words that could never save Toni.

So here I am. Still wrapping my heart and head around the loss.  I wrote the following 500 word description of Toni’s legacy with the intention of getting Toni’s life story out there into the world. There are a number of news reporters who cover stories like Toni’s. I just don’t know how to get the story out there. If you are reading this and know how to get the story of Toni’s beautiful life out to one of the venues below, please help me and guide me with contact names and email addresses. Toni’s life and COVID-19 story are too poignant not to share with the world.  I thank you in advance.  (And thank you, Marilyn, as I have also asked you to help me in my quest to get Toni’s story out into the world. Thank you, Colleen, for your insight into Toni’s trees and for explaining to me the concept of how we are born knowing that “mine” is “ours” as children. I have used some of your words below.)

VENUES THAT SHARE COVID-19 STORIES:

1) Lives Well Lived by Nicolle Wallace on MSNBC

2) Every Friday “In Memoriam” is featured on PBS “NewsHour”. It profiles Americans from all walks of life who died of Covid 19.

3) NYTimes does one obituary a day of virus victim under the “Those We’ve Lost” banner (400-500 words). The writing below is less than 500 words.

4) CNN show tells individual stories

*****

Toni Gallo

After five months of hospitalization, COVID-19 took Toni Gallo’s life on April 6, 2021. Toni suffered a childhood brain trauma, but this didn’t stop her from living fully. Her bright spirit, dazzling charismatic smile, pure innocence, and non-judgmental acceptance of everyone she met touched thousands of people.

Maybe you knew Toni from Liege, Belgium, her birthplace, or from Grotte, Sicily, her parents’ home town. If so, you would have known her as an adorable child or as a gorgeous happy teen.

Perhaps you grew up with Toni, as a family member, a childhood friend, a neighbor in Gary or Merrillville, Indiana. She was one of five sisters. You would have seen how she grew up surrounded by love.

Perhaps you knew Toni from the YMCA where she enjoyed Zumba and yoga. Or perhaps you knew Toni from Opportunity Enterprises, where she attended fun dances, took art classes, and made ceramics.

Perhaps, after months of reading Caring Bridge, you grew to love Toni as you experienced her sweetness, and her unrelenting courage to heal herself.  A #Toni-Strong movement began. It was backed by international healing circles and world-wide prayers from every religion in the world.

While hospitalized in Chicago, a creative explosion took place and Toni created incredible art. Perhaps you were one of the lucky recipients of Toni’s colorful art. She generously gave her art away even before the paint was dry! Maybe you received a painting of a sunset or a landscape filled with trees. Covid-19 set the world on fire and Toni’s trees will always remind us to breathe and ground when we feel sad, or suffer. Toni’s trees will teach us how to thrive in the most difficult of times.

Perhaps you were drawn to Toni because she made you feel like a star. If you had her over for a meal, she’d eat with gusto and she’d tell you over and over again, “You’re the best cook in the world!”

And who knows, perhaps you were most fortunate to eat Toni’s potato salad!  She’d hover over you and ask, “You like it? I made it!”

Without a doubt, many of you share Toni’s love of sweets. Sometimes, she could not control herself around cake, sneaking second servings, trying to hide the evidence.

Toni lived in the moment. She was a sophisticated adult with a childlike mind. She, like children everywhere, was born knowing we are all one. Unlike most adults, she never lost that knowledge. The word “mine” was not a fixed concept in her mind. Toni fully understood that in giving to others, she received.

A kind and powerful spirit has left this world. We have lost a sister, a family member, a friend, a smile that could light up the darkest hour.

We bravely step into a world void of Toni’s hugs, laughter, and pureness of heart. We continue to hang on to Toni-Love. Toni’s journey is our journey. Toni Gallo leaves a legacy of love, kindness, creativity, generosity, and a life well lived.